Nicola Jane Chase’s Tea and Transition is not just another memoir of change, but an intimate, witty, and deeply human story of rediscovery that bridges continents, identities, and decades of self-perception. It is the kind of book that makes readers laugh one moment and sit in silence the next, realizing how complicated, tender, and unexpectedly humorous the process of becoming oneself can be. Chase’s life, before and after her transition, reads like a kaleidoscope of adventure. In the 1980s and 1990s, she was a globe-trotting DJ, spinning records in the most unlikely corners of the world. She performed at rooftop parties for sheiks, played in nightclubs under neon skies in Hong Kong, and became a recognizable voice on the radio across Asia. Her life was a whirlwind of music, travel, and cosmopolitan glamour, but beneath the rhythm and lights, another story was quietly forming, one that would not be silenced.
The move to New York became a turning point. It was there that Nicola began to ask herself questions that no amount of travel or professional success could quiet. Why did he feel like a she? Why did the reflection in the mirror seem so close yet so far away? What began as a persistent whisper grew into an undeniable truth. The first steps into womanhood were awkward, brave, and sometimes hilarious. There were embarrassing wigs, subway stares, and the eternal struggle with high heels that were always an inch away from elegance. Yet through every cringe-worthy misstep, Chase’s humor sparkled. Her British wit acted as both armor and anchor, carrying her through moments that might otherwise have been crushing.
The book delves into both the practical and emotional challenges of transition. Readers follow Nicola as she navigates pronouns that refuse to cooperate, endures passport control officers who can’t reconcile her identity with her documents, and faces the small heartbreaks of underwhelming cup sizes. These moments are written with a lightness that makes them profoundly relatable, not just to transgender readers but to anyone who has ever felt out of step with the world around them. There is one especially poignant scene that captures the essence of the book’s emotional core: the moment she sits down with her 80-year-old mother over a cup of Earl Grey to reveal her truth. What follows is heartbreak and healing, a story of devolution and rebuilding, of two women finding their way back to each other through tears, persistence, and unconditional love.
Yet Tea and Transition is more than a humorous chronicle of gender discovery. It is a meditation on identity, resilience, and the enduring human spirit. Nicola invites readers to see beyond labels and definitions, to understand that gender transition is not only about changing the outer self but about aligning the inner truth with the outer world. The title itself is a perfect reflection of her approach: calm, reflective, and distinctly British. Tea is comfort, warmth, and normalcy, while transition is upheaval and rebirth. Together, they form a narrative that is at once ordinary and extraordinary.
In my interview with Nicola Jane Chase for The Heroines of My Life, she described herself as a “supremely content New York woman with a transgender history.” That simple yet powerful phrase encapsulates the message of her memoir. She did not write Tea and Transition as a manifesto or political statement but as a personal diary that evolved into a story worth sharing. “I didn’t set out to write a book,” she told me, “it started out as a journal.” What began as scattered notes during her early transition grew into a thoughtful reflection on the unpredictability of change. Her honesty about the difficult relationship with her mother, which transformed from devastation to deep understanding, is one of the book’s most moving arcs.
Nicola’s humor plays a vital role in both her writing and her life. “The best way to tell a story like mine is with a sense of humor,” she said during our conversation. Indeed, her pages burst with it. Humor becomes a lifeline, not a mask, allowing readers to approach complex questions about gender with empathy rather than fear. She reminds us that transgender stories can be full of joy and laughter, even in moments of confusion or pain.
Her experiences as a traveler also enrich her narrative. From the pyramids at dawn to martinis on top of skyscrapers, Nicola’s global perspective brings depth to her reflections on identity. Travel, she admits, has shaped her worldview and perhaps prepared her for the greatest journey of all: the journey toward herself. After years of performing for crowds and spinning records for others’ pleasure, she finally tuned into her own frequency.Tea and Transition stands out because it captures the essence of transformation without losing sight of humanity. It is a celebration of life’s unpredictability, a reminder that it is never too late to become who you truly are. For Nicola Jane Chase, womanhood did not erase the man she once was but added a new chapter to an already extraordinary story. Her path was not a straight line but a series of beautifully imperfect steps toward authenticity.
In her words, “You are not alone. You are not weird. You are YOU.” That sentiment, shared at the end of our interview, could easily serve as the moral of her book. Nicola’s story proves that acceptance begins with communication, that laughter can coexist with vulnerability, and that transition, much like a cup of tea, is best savored slowly, with grace and courage. Tea and Transition is more than a memoir; it is a portrait of becoming, of one person’s extraordinary path from DJ decks to self-discovery, from confusion to contentment, and from he to she, all told with the warmth and wit of a woman who has truly lived every note of her own song.
Available via Amazon
Photo via The Heroines of My Life
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