Transgender Biographies

Showing posts with label English. Show all posts

Katie Wilson - I need to be myself

Full title: "I need to be myself: 100 transgender poems" by Katie Wilson.

Katie Wilson’s book I Need to Be Myself: 100 Transgender Poems is not simply a poetry collection. It is a diary of awakening, a record of years when a life quietly rearranged itself, and a soul finally found vocabulary for feelings that had slept for decades. The poems were written between September 2015 and July 2017, a period when Katie first allowed herself to explore crossdressing and when she finally understood that this exploration was not a curiosity but a recognition of something essential inside her. Poetry had always been her natural language. She had written verses for years, long before she ever took a dress from a hanger or shaped her name into Katie. When her identity began to rise to the surface, poetry rose with it and gave form to what was happening. The result is this collection. One hundred pieces that show the stumbling, reaching, glowing, frightening, liberating messiness of realizing you are a transgender woman.

Michelle Duff - Make Haste Slowly

Full title: "Make Haste Slowly: The Mike Duff Story" by Michelle Duff.

Michelle Duff’s Make Haste Slowly: The Mike Duff Story stands as one of the most vivid and intimate chronicles of grand prix motorcycle racing ever written. It is important to state from the outset that the book is not about her transition or her later life as Michelle. Instead, it is a deep dive into the racing world of Mike Duff, the Canadian athlete who carved his name into the history of the Continental Circus during the golden age of the sport. The book is a celebration of speed, technical mastery, courage, and the relentless pursuit of excellence at a time when the world of motorcycle racing was changing at an unprecedented pace.

At the heart of the story is Mike Duff, the first North American and the only Canadian to claim a victory in a world championship grand prix motorcycle race. Across the pages, Duff’s accomplishments unfold with the clarity of lived memory rather than mere historical retelling. The book captures the thrill of the 1964 250 Belgian Grand Prix at Spa Francorchamps, where Duff claimed his first world championship win on one of the most challenging circuits ever built. It then moves into the exhilarating 1965 season when he stood again atop the winner’s rostrum at the 125 Dutch Grand Prix at Assen in the Netherlands and yet again at the 250 Finnish Grand Prix at Imatra. These victories form the backbone of a career that combined raw determination with technical brilliance and a deep connection to the machines he rode.

Venus Rountree - Sethie to Venus

Full title: "Sethie to Venus: My Story of Becoming a Trans Mystic on my Spiritual Journey to Happiness" by Venus Rountree.

Sethie to Venus: My Story of Becoming a Trans Mystic on my Spiritual Journey to Happiness by Venus Rountree is a sweeping, intimate memoir that carries the reader through decades of pain, healing, and spiritual discovery. Venus opens her story in the 1960s, a period often romanticized as a time of liberation and cultural transformation, yet for her it unfolded as a childhood marked by trauma, neglect, and the perpetual ache of feeling unseen. As a child of divorce at a time when such fractures were still spoken of in hushed tones, she grew up wrestling with the consequences of abandonment while surviving an environment steeped in instability. In this vulnerable space, she began to develop the questions and longings that would later guide her toward mysticism and self-understanding.

Her early life was shaped by the upheaval of the era: the soundtrack of rock and roll playing against the backdrop of broken homes, shifting social norms, and a world that refused to recognize the identity she carried quietly within her. Venus describes how the California Department of Corrections system became an unexpected chapter of her life, one where past trauma collided with an institution ill-equipped to understand the complexity of her needs. Within those walls she struggled not only with the weight of her history but also with the mental health challenges that had followed her since childhood, including post-traumatic stress disorder and the constant feeling of having to fight simply to exist.

Yvie Oddly - All About Yvie: Into the Oddity

Full title: "All About Yvie: Into the Oddity" by Yvie Oddly and Michael Bach.

All About Yvie: Into the Oddity, co-written by Yvie Oddly and Michael Bach, is a deeply personal exploration of the life of one of the world’s most unconventional and celebrated drag artists. The memoir traces Yvie’s journey from childhood to international stardom, offering readers an unflinching look at the challenges and triumphs that shaped their identity, artistry, and relationships. Born Jovan Jordan Bridges on August 22, 1993, in Denver, Colorado, Yvie’s early years were marked by a fascination with makeup and dress-up, often in defiance of traditional gender expectations.

Even as a six-year-old, Bridges expressed joy and comfort in skirts and makeup, a preference that would later evolve into the signature drag persona the world now knows. Gymnastics and other physically demanding activities were a part of their youth until a diagnosis of Ehlers-Danlos syndrome at fifteen prompted a shift toward musical theatre, providing an alternative avenue for physical expression and performance. Yvie’s first encounter with drag came in middle school through the theatrical creativity of a classmate, inspiring their own playful exploration of costuming, attention, and performance. Their formative years included attending East High School and later the Auraria Campus in Denver, both of which contributed to the foundation of their artistry and understanding of self.

Mallery GenX - Becoming Her: Transitioning After Forty

Full title: "Becoming Her: Transitioning After Forty" by Mallery GenX.

In a culture that glorifies wrinkle-free ambition and the illusion that personal reinvention expires sometime before your twenty-ninth birthday, Mallery GenX arrives with a story that gently but firmly sweeps that myth aside. Her memoir, Becoming Her: Transitioning After Forty, is an intimate testament to the truth that transformation does not diminish with age. If anything, it becomes richer, deeper, and undeniably more honest. Mallery steps into her womanhood not with the blinding glare of youthful urgency, but with the hard-earned clarity of lived experience. She is not trying to outrun time. She is trying to meet herself.

Before she ever questioned her own reflection, Mallery spent more than two decades helping other people assemble theirs. As a salon owner and stylist, she built confidence with scissors, color, and conversation. She knew how to craft beauty for others down to the smallest detail. What she did not know was how to navigate the quiet ache sitting beneath her own exterior, a longing planted in childhood when she wished she could “be a gul,” spoken in the language of innocence long before she understood what it meant. That longing follows her into adulthood, shadowing her successes and celebrations until the day she finally allows it to take shape in the open.

Sophie Haugh - All I ever wanted was just to be me

Full title: "All I ever wanted was just to be me" by Sophie Haugh.

Sophie Haugh’s book All I Ever Wanted Was Just to Be Me is an emotional, raw, and deeply personal journey through the complex and often misunderstood experience of gender transition. It is more than a memoir; it is a chronicle of four decades of longing, perseverance, and courage. Over the span of thirty-nine years, Sophie recorded her thoughts, experiences, and emotions, creating a powerful diary of what it means to live a life feeling trapped in the wrong body, and the eventual liberation of becoming who she always knew she was meant to be.

From the very first pages, the reader is drawn into the world of a young boy who senses early on that something about him does not align with what the world expects. This realization, while profound, becomes a lifelong struggle as Sophie faces confusion, rejection, and the internal torment of not being seen for who she truly is. The story unfolds through real events and genuine feelings, revealing both the painful and joyful moments that shaped her life. It is a book that captures the full spectrum of human emotion, fear, despair, hope, and, ultimately, triumph.

Eleanor Hystoré - Venus Rising

Full title: "Venus Rising: The Unfinished Life of a Ballroom Icon Venus Xtravaganza" by Eleanor Hystoré.

Eleanor Hystoré’s Venus Rising: The Unfinished Life of a Ballroom Icon Venus Xtravaganza is a work of deep tenderness and fierce illumination. It reaches beyond the glitter of the ballroom floor to reveal the woman behind one of the most unforgettable faces of queer history. Through graceful prose and unflinching honesty, Hystoré brings Venus Pellagatti Xtravaganza back to life, tracing her journey from a teenage dreamer in Jersey City to a radiant symbol of self-creation and resilience in 1980s New York.

The book opens in the small, crowded home where Venus was born on May 5, 1965, the youngest of several siblings in an Italian-Puerto Rican family. Hystoré paints these early years with sensitivity, showing a child already attuned to beauty, movement, and performance. Venus’s first steps toward becoming herself were met with the kind of confusion and rejection familiar to many transgender people of her era. She left home young, seeking a world where her reflection would match her spirit. That world, she soon discovered, existed in the shadowy brilliance of the Harlem ballrooms. It is here that Hystoré’s storytelling truly begins to shimmer.

Full title: "Manlyhood: Book 2" by Robyn Casias (Skyler Lott). The whole series consists of four books: Gender Queer, Manlyhood, The Great Gender Wall of China, and Here Comes Meili, Ready or Not.

Robyn Casias, also known as Skyler Lott, continues her profound and emotionally charged literary journey through gender, identity, and transformation in her second book, Manlyhood, part of the four-volume series As the Carousel Turns: Gender War. The series traces a deeply personal evolution that begins with Gender Queer, continues through Manlyhood, and expands into The Great Gender Wall of China and Here Comes Meili, Ready or Not. Each book represents a distinct stage of Robyn’s transformation from living as a biologically male individual into embracing her authentic self as a woman. Yet it is in Manlyhood that the author’s internal conflict reaches its most intense and revealing stage, as she builds and then unravels the male persona she was forced to inhabit for much of her life.

In Gender Queer, readers first meet Meili, the author’s inner feminine essence, a joyful, curious, and expressive girl who existed from her earliest memories. Meili’s world was one of imagination, color, and self-expression, but society’s expectations and the limitations of the world around her forced that light to dim. The young Meili was not allowed to bloom openly, and so the author created a mask, a male persona she called Manly. This constructed self became both a shield and a prison, a way to survive in a world that did not understand her.

Andrea Aston Orme - Blood, Sweat and Suspenders

Full title: "Blood, Sweat and Suspenders" by Andrea Aston Orme.

In Blood, Sweat and Suspenders, Andrea Aston Orme invites readers to travel with her through a life that defies convention and refuses to fit neatly into any single category. Her memoir unfolds like a vivid tapestry, each thread representing a challenge faced, a triumph earned, and a moment of self-discovery that shaped the person she became. It is a deeply human story, one that pulses with the raw energy of experience and the quiet grace of reflection. From the first page, Andrea makes it clear that hers is not a tale of smooth roads or easy victories. Instead, it is a story forged in the unpredictable fires of life, a story that refuses to be forgotten.

Born in Harrow in 1959, Andrea’s early years were marked by both curiosity and chaos. She grew up in a family that was, by her own admission, somewhat dysfunctional, and her childhood was not without its trials. Yet from a young age, she demonstrated an unyielding determination to explore the world around her, often placing herself in situations that tested both her courage and her capacity for resilience. School offered little comfort, though she left with a few CSEs to her name, including respectable marks in biology and art. At Harrow Technical College she discovered hairdressing, a skill that would become her ticket to independence and a means of creative expression. With credits and a distinction under her belt, she embarked on a career that sustained her through years of adventure, hardship, and transformation across England and beyond.

Abigail Sciuto-Rountree - Sobriety to Love

Full title: "Sobriety to Love: A Spiritual Life Journey Memoir" by Abigail Sciuto-Rountree.

There are books that reveal the complexity of a person’s soul, and Sobriety to Love: A Spiritual Life Journey Memoir by Abigail Sciuto-Rountree appears to be one of them. Although not much is known about this work, the small glimpse we have invites us into a deeply personal and transformative story. Abigail’s words suggest that this memoir is not just about recovery from addiction but also about self-discovery, healing, and spiritual awakening. She describes her book as a passionate sharing of her life story, from her transgender experience to her journey through addiction and sobriety. That alone sets the tone for an intimate and courageous narrative, one that intertwines struggle with revelation, pain with transcendence.

The title itself, Sobriety to Love, speaks volumes. It evokes the idea of moving from darkness into light, from dependence into self-awareness, and from isolation into connection. Sobriety is often seen as an ending, but in Abigail’s case, it seems to be a beginning, a doorway to love, both divine and human. Her life story seems to weave together the challenges of living authentically as a transgender woman with the equally profound struggle of overcoming addiction. For anyone who has fought for self-acceptance or freedom from destructive patterns, her message resonates as both familiar and inspiring.

Elizabeth Howe - Unveiling Jordan

Full title: "Unveiling Jordan: Beyond The Veil, She Lives On" by Elizabeth Howe and Edward Marsh.

“Unveiling Jordan: Beyond The Veil, She Lives On” by Elizabeth Howe and Edward Marsh is a heartbreaking yet profoundly inspiring memoir that captures the essence of a mother’s unconditional love and the enduring spirit of her daughter. It is a story that reaches far beyond one family’s tragedy and becomes a reflection of humanity’s struggle to understand, accept, and embrace those who live their truth in a world that often turns away. Elizabeth Howe opens her heart and soul on every page, sharing the emotional weight of losing her daughter, Jordan, a young transgender woman whose life was cut tragically short by suicide. What emerges is not only a story of grief but also one of awakening, healing, and the power of remembrance.

At the center of the book stands Jordan Howe, a vibrant young woman filled with dreams, laughter, and a longing for acceptance. She was not defined by her struggles but by her courage to live authentically. Yet, the world around her was not always kind. Jordan faced the invisible battles so many transgender individuals endure, daily confrontations with misunderstanding, rejection, and prejudice. Through Elizabeth’s eyes, readers witness the profound disconnect between who Jordan was and how society chose to see her. The pages pulse with the raw pain of a mother who watched her daughter’s light flicker in the face of relentless adversity, and yet they also reveal the fierce beauty of a love that refuses to fade.

Dana Abbott - Hiding In Plain Sight: A Memoir

Full title: "Hiding In Plain Sight: A Memoir" by Dana Abbott. The book was originally published in 2021 under the same title, but with a different name, Theresa Miles. In 2024, Theresa Miles published a sequel, "Full Disclosure: A Memoir".

Dana Abbott’s Hiding in Plain Sight: A Memoir is not the kind of book you simply read and set aside; it’s the kind that lingers, whispering reminders of courage and authenticity long after you close the final page. What began as a simple faith-inspired gratitude journal slowly grew into a profound exploration of identity, faith, and perseverance. For Dana, journaling was not merely an act of reflection, but a lifeline, a framework she clung to both before and after her transition. Through words that feel both intimate and universal, she invites readers to examine their own lives, to peel back the layers of fear and expectation, and to ask the most human question of all: who am I, really?

The memoir serves as more than a personal testimony. It’s a call to action, a mirror held up to society’s unrelenting pace and the individuals left gasping for air in its wake. Dana’s story reaches out to those who have been told to shrink themselves to fit within the limits of others’ comfort. She writes for anyone who has ever lived according to someone else’s script, lost in the chaos of unspoken doubts and unanswered questions. The book gently urges readers, especially LGBTQ+ youth and adults, to begin their own self-analysis, to rediscover what might have been buried under years of conformity. Rediscovery, Dana suggests, is not a single moment but a lifelong process, one of the most valuable and genuine parts of our journey on this Earth.

Camila Eran - Dear Mom and Dad

Full title: "Dear Mom and Dad: A Conservative Transgender Memoir" by Camila Eran.

Camila Eran’s book Dear Mom and Dad: A Conservative Transgender Memoir is a raw, courageous, and deeply personal exploration of what it means to navigate life as a transgender person while maintaining a moderate, thoughtful perspective. In this memoir, Eran does not shy away from the emotional and physical realities of gender transition, laying bare her journey with honesty and clarity. She delves into the triumphs, the struggles, and the moments of profound self-discovery that have shaped her experience, offering readers an unflinching look at what it is like to live authentically in a world that often misunderstands or oversimplifies trans lives. Her reflections are as intimate as they are instructive, providing a lens into how transitioning has impacted her body, mind, relationships, and overall sense of self.

More than just a personal account, the book serves as a bridge between trans people and the people who love them. Eran writes directly to parents, family members, and friends who may be seeking clarity, understanding, or guidance. Her approach is compassionate, grounded, and deeply human, avoiding extremes, slogans, or the polarization that too often dominates discussions about gender identity. She takes care to explain her choices and experiences in a way that is accessible and relatable, inviting readers to step into her perspective and appreciate the nuance behind her decisions. Throughout the memoir, she grapples with the challenges of being a transgender person while maintaining a moderate voice, showing that it is possible to embrace one’s identity without subscribing to every prevailing ideology within the community.

Ariane Keudel - ULTRAVIOLET

Full title: "ULTRAVIOLET: A little outside the visible range" by Ariane Keudel.

Ariane Keudel’s book Ultraviolet: A Little Outside the Visible Range is not just an autobiography, it is a confession, a meditation, and a shimmering portrait of a woman who dared to live beyond the boundaries of what most people would call ordinary light. Translated from the original German edition Ultraviolett: Ein wenig außerhalb des sichtbaren Bereichs, this work takes the reader on a journey through the spectrum of existence, where love and loss, order and chaos, and spirituality and self-destruction blend into one luminous story. It is a book written from the edge of visibility, where reality fades into something mystical and deeply human.

Ariane begins her story with Andi, her brother, companion, and soulmate in spirit, the person whose life embodied the idea of living “a little outside the visible range.” He had a saying, “Lilac is the color of the season,” a phrase that became both a joke and a philosophy. Lilac, teetering on the border of ultraviolet, became his identity, a color just barely perceptible, one that suggests beauty, mystery, and transience all at once. Through him, Ariane introduces the central metaphor of the book: that some lives, like certain colors, are not easily seen but are nonetheless powerfully felt. Andi’s life, full of flamboyance and longing for recognition, becomes the first prism through which Ariane examines her own existence, her search for meaning, and her belief in the invisible patterns that connect us all.

Rita Santos - Beyond Gender Binaries

Full title: "Beyond Gender Binaries: The History of Trans, Intersex, and Third-Gender Individuals (History of the LGBTQ+ Rights Movement)" by Rita Santos.

Rita Santos’s Beyond Gender Binaries: The History of Trans, Intersex, and Third-Gender Individuals opens with a bold and compassionate mission to remind readers that gender diversity is not a modern invention but a timeless reality woven through human history. Santos dives into the deep and often overlooked history of gender variance, exploring how people across time and cultures have lived, loved, and existed beyond the narrow categories of male and female. She writes with an awareness that while societies may have used different terms, gestures, or rituals to describe gender-nonconforming individuals, the essence of those experiences has always been part of humanity’s story.

From ancient civilizations to contemporary movements, the book traces how concepts of gender have been understood and redefined. Readers are taken on a journey through societies where gender diversity was celebrated as sacred and others where it was punished or erased. Santos highlights, for example, the revered roles of two-spirit people among Indigenous nations in North America, the hijras of South Asia who have existed for centuries as a recognized third gender, and the sworn virgins of the Balkans who challenged gender norms for social or familial reasons. Through these stories, the author shows that gender variance is neither new nor rare, but an enduring thread in the fabric of human life.

Cathy Heart - My 60 Years To Womanhood

Full title: "My 60 Years To Womanhood" by Cathy Heart.

Cathy Heart’s My 60 Years To Womanhood stands as a remarkable chronicle of courage, endurance, and the lifelong pursuit of authenticity. It is not simply a memoir but a testament to identity and resilience, beginning with a universal truth that transcends gender or orientation, that the world can be a hard and often hostile place for those who do not easily fit into society’s pre-drawn boxes. Through the lens of Cathy’s sixty-year journey, the reader is invited into a deeply personal and profoundly human story about living as a transgender woman in a world that has not always been kind or understanding. Her story is both an intimate confession and a quiet revolution, one that asks readers to abandon prejudice and embrace empathy.

At its heart, this book is about time, how much of it can be spent trying to live up to others’ expectations, and how precious it becomes once a person decides to live for themselves. Cathy’s journey toward womanhood is not a straight line but a long, looping path filled with uncertainty, discovery, and a stubborn kind of hope. From her earliest awareness of a dissonance between body and mind to her later years navigating a medical and social landscape that often seemed indifferent, Cathy tells her story with an honesty that is both raw and graceful. Her reflections give shape to an experience many transgender people know too well: that being Trans is not a choice, nor a condition to be “cured,” but an integral part of one’s being that deserves understanding rather than judgment.

Michael DaQueen - Closest Thing to Heaven

Full title: "Closest Thing to Heaven: A Memoir" by Michael DaQueen.

In Closest Thing to Heaven: A Memoir, Michael DaQueen opens the curtain on the messy, magnificent, and utterly magnetic first three years of her life in New York City. This is not a polished fairy tale of instant stardom but a confessional scrapbook of heartbreaks, drag shows, and late-night subway rides, written with the rhythm of a queen who’s equal parts performer and poet. DaQueen, a self-proclaimed hopeless romantic and proud West Coast transplant, invites readers to walk beside her through the glitter-streaked chaos of becoming an artist in a city that both seduces and devours. It’s a book that doesn’t just tell a story, it dances, lip-syncs, and sometimes limps through one.

From her earliest memories of sitting beside her mother as Sex and the City played on television, little Michael dreamed of Manhattan’s magic. The skyline was her fairy godmother; the flashing lights of Broadway were her birthright. Yet before she ever set foot on those fabled streets, she was cutting her teeth in the suburbs of Los Angeles, hosting drag shows in neighborhood bars where regulars cheered from barstools and queens borrowed wigs from one another. The pandemic shut that world down, but it also cracked open the possibility of something new. When her local bar announced it wasn’t reopening, she felt a tug, part grief, part destiny. She packed up her life, said goodbye to California, and landed in New York in the spring of 2021, with a suitcase full of sequins and a heart still healing from a breakup.

Ash Jackson - Beyond Trans

Full title: "Beyond Trans" by Ash Jackson.

Ash Jackson’s book Beyond Trans reads like a symphony of survival, a raw and haunting exploration of one woman’s journey through chaos, creation, and courage. It opens with the rhythms of childhood, where Ash dreamed of fame and music filled her imagination with the promise of escape. Even as a young girl growing up in a world that didn’t yet understand her, she found solace in sound. Her guitar became a refuge, a place where the noise of confusion and self-doubt could transform into melody. The early years were marked by longing and insecurity, the kind that festers quietly when you’re different but can’t yet name why. The music was her first language of truth, a way to say what words couldn’t.

As her talent blossomed, Ash built a remarkable career that would eventually stretch across more than three decades. She became one of Australia’s most versatile musicians, an accomplished guitarist, songwriter, composer, and producer. Her work spanned genres and industries: rock and pop albums, film and television scores, orchestral compositions, experimental soundscapes, and even a leap into TV production with the creation of Oz Fish TV, a quirky and successful fishing show now airing on Channel 7mate and Foxtel. Behind this artistic versatility was a perfectionist who had honed her craft with relentless discipline. She graduated from the Box Hill Institute of Performing Arts with an Advanced Diploma in Music Performance and a Bachelor of Music in composition, collecting awards along the way for academic excellence and compositional brilliance. On paper, it all looked like triumph. But Ash’s story is a reminder that the brightest spotlight often casts the darkest shadow.

Racheal Fickarz - Transgender Woman

Full title: "Transgender Woman: A journey of identity" by Racheal Fickarz.

Racheal Fickarz’s book Transgender Woman: A Journey of Identity offers a profound exploration of what it means to embrace oneself fully and embark on the path of self-discovery. The narrative is both heartfelt and insightful, capturing the courage required to confront societal expectations, personal fears, and the unknown challenges of transitioning. This is not a guide that simply lists steps or medical procedures; it is a testament to the resilience, perseverance, and authenticity that define the transgender experience.

Each chapter immerses the reader in the emotional landscape of a transgender woman, highlighting the moments of doubt, triumph, and self-realization that accompany such a transformative journey. The author emphasizes that transitioning encompasses far more than physical changes; it involves cultivating mental well-being, nurturing emotional stability, and navigating social dynamics in a world that often misunderstands or stigmatizes transgender identities. Through vivid anecdotes and reflective passages, Fickarz provides a framework that respects the individuality of each woman’s path, ensuring that readers feel seen and supported at every stage of their own journey.

Lisa Bellot - She/Him/Us

Full title: "She/Him/Us: A Psychiatrist's Search for Her Daughter in the Transgender Sea" by Lisa Bellot.

In her striking and deeply personal memoir She/Him/Us: A Psychiatrist’s Search for Her Daughter in the Transgender Sea, Dr. Lisa Bellot confronts one of the most emotionally charged issues of our time through the lens of both a psychiatrist and a mother. The book chronicles her journey as she navigates the turbulent waters of her daughter’s sudden identification as transgender, a revelation that forced her to question not only her medical training but also her most intimate instincts as a parent. What emerges is a gripping and reflective narrative that challenges prevailing assumptions about gender identity, the mental health profession, and what it truly means to love and protect one’s child.

Dr. Bellot’s story begins with the shock and confusion that many parents of trans-identified teens experience. As a seasoned psychiatrist with two decades of clinical experience in California, she believed she had seen nearly everything the human mind could present. Yet when her own teenage daughter announced she was trans, Bellot found herself facing an entirely new emotional and moral frontier. She describes the moment with raw vulnerability, not as a detached clinician but as a mother whose world has tilted off its axis. Her initial instinct was not to affirm, but to pause and understand. The question that drives the memoir is not simply whether her daughter is transgender, but how a parent can respond when every cultural, medical, and social current demands unquestioning affirmation while her inner voice insists that something deeper needs to be explored.

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