Dianna Boileau - Behold I am a Woman Now

1972, Canada, Dianna Boileau, English,

Full title: "Behold I am a Woman Now" by Dianna Boileau.

Behold, I Am a Woman (1972) by Dianne Boileau is one of the earliest autobiographical accounts of a transgender woman’s life and transition in Canada. The book begins with a mix of historical context and personal reflection. Dianne frames her story as one that is not only about herself but also about the larger struggles of people like her, combining moments of laughter, fear, and sadness with a plea for tolerance.

 

Her narrative opens with a night of tragedy: a late drive through Toronto that ended in a fatal accident, killing her close friend Rosemary. The trauma of this event haunts the opening of the book and later leads to Dianne’s public exposure, a trial, and national attention. From there, she takes the reader back to her beginnings. She was born Clifford on New Year’s Eve in Winnipeg, abandoned by her biological mother and placed in an orphanage before being adopted by Leo and Mary Boileau, a poor but loving couple in Manitoba. Her childhood was one of isolation in a rural home without electricity, running water, or neighbors. She was a sensitive and withdrawn only child, deeply tied to her parents but increasingly aware that she was different.

 

As she grew older, those differences became clearer. She preferred the company of girls, disliked sports, and longed for feminine things, though she was pressured into living as a boy. Adolescence brought both experimentation and secrecy. She tried on female clothing in private, practiced with makeup, and dreamed of a life she could not yet claim. The tension between her inner sense of self and the role she was forced to play weighed heavily on her.

 

Eventually, her secret life was discovered. In Winnipeg, when she was living increasingly as a woman, police became involved and her parents learned the truth. At first bewildered, they came to accept her after Dr. Challis, a sympathetic physician, explained transsexualism to them. This acceptance led to a fresh start in Port Arthur, where she began to live openly as Dianna. It was the first step in aligning her life with her identity. Later, she moved to Calgary, where she worked as a stenographer, built friendships, and explored the nightlife. It was there that her friendship with Rosemary deepened, and she began to live more fully and confidently as herself. Modeling work, commercials, and social recognition as a woman gave her validation, but she also remained aware of the incompleteness of her life without surgery.

 

When she returned to Toronto, she pursued office jobs but was increasingly restless. She longed for surgery, writing of her desperation and frustration at the barriers of cost and medical access. Then came the car crash that claimed Rosemary’s life, an event that thrust her into the courts and the newspapers. Arrested and charged with criminal negligence causing death, she endured humiliation in prison where her gender identity was mocked and exposed. The trial was sensational, but in the end she was acquitted. Still, the public attention left scars, and she struggled with depression, alcohol, and despair. At her lowest point, she attempted suicide by overdose, only to be saved by her landlady and hospitalized.

 

Despite these dark turns, she did not give up. She continued to write letters, plead with doctors, and cling to the hope that medical transition might become possible in Canada. Her persistence eventually led her to Toronto General Hospital, where Dr. Betty Steiner and her team were beginning groundbreaking work in gender-affirming care. In 1970, Dianne was selected for surgery. On April 20 of that year, she became the first Canadian to undergo gender-affirming surgery. The epilogue describes her awakening from the procedure in pain but with an overwhelming sense of relief and joy. Walking out of the hospital, she finally declared to herself and the world: “Behold, I am a woman.”

 

Her memoir is both a chronicle of a personal journey and a manifesto of survival. It charts the story of a child born into obscurity, a young person navigating secrecy and shame, and an adult who endured tragedy, scandal, and prejudice before achieving her lifelong dream. At its heart, it is an appeal for compassion and understanding toward transgender people in a time when their lives were heavily stigmatized.

Quote from thespec.com

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Photo via digitalarchive.tpl.ca and The Archive

 

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