Tula: I Am a Woman is the first memoir by Caroline Cossey, the British model and actress better known by her professional name Tula. Published in 1981, the book offers an unprecedented and deeply personal insight into the life of a transgender woman navigating the complexities of identity, society, and fame at a time when transgender issues were almost entirely taboo.
Caroline Cossey was born on August 31, 1954, in Brooke, Norfolk, assigned male at birth but possessing an intersex variation known as XXXY syndrome, an aspect she was unaware of until adulthood. This condition contributed to her distinctly feminine appearance during puberty, a source of both inner conflict and external bullying, which she recalls candidly in her memoir. Growing up, Caroline endured a difficult childhood filled with confusion and torment, but found solace in her close relationship with her sister Pam, with whom she shared moments of dressing up in their mother’s clothes. These early experiences shaped the foundation for the story she tells in Tula: I Am a Woman, a story of courage, resilience, and self-discovery.
The memoir traces Caroline’s journey from leaving school at fifteen, working low-wage jobs, to her move to London, where she began transitioning in her late teens. By seventeen, Caroline was undergoing hormone therapy and working as a showgirl, financing her transition step by step. The memoir offers frank accounts of her breast augmentation surgery and the eventual sex reassignment surgery performed at Charing Cross Hospital on New Year’s Eve, 1974, a milestone that marked the beginning of her new life. Her book also highlights her early modeling career under the name Tula, which blossomed as she appeared in major magazines such as Australian Vogue and Harper’s Bazaar, and became a Page Three girl for The Sun. However, her memoir does not shy away from the darker side of fame and public scrutiny.
In 1981, shortly after appearing as an extra in the James Bond film For Your Eyes Only, Caroline was outed as transgender by the British tabloid News of the World with the sensational headline "James Bond Girl Was a Boy." The memoir reveals the emotional toll this public outing took on her, including feelings of devastation and suicidal thoughts. Yet, it also shows her unyielding determination to live openly and authentically despite the backlash.Caroline’s story in Tula: I Am a Woman is not just about personal transition but also about fighting for recognition and rights in a world that was largely hostile or ignorant. Her subsequent legal battles to be recognized as a woman, which she details in the book and later memoirs, exemplify the broader struggle of transgender people for equality. The memoir captures key moments, such as her engagement and marriage to Elias Fattal and the European Court of Human Rights’ rulings on her right to legal recognition. The heartbreak of having her marriage annulled after media exposure is recounted with raw honesty, illustrating the profound personal costs of public prejudice.
Beyond the legal and social struggles, Caroline’s memoirs reveal her as a trailblazer who broke barriers by becoming the first transgender woman to pose for Playboy in 1991. While Tula: I Am a Woman predates this event, it sets the stage for understanding the significance of her later achievements, presenting her as a figure of strength, visibility, and advocacy. Caroline Cossey’s writing in Tula: I Am a Woman offers a unique and important perspective, combining the glamour of her modeling career with the vulnerability of her personal journey. The memoir sheds light on the experience of being transgender during a time when few stories like hers were heard. It gives voice to the hardships of bullying, media exploitation, and social rejection, balanced by moments of hope, love, and self-acceptance.
In an interview years later, Caroline reflected on the pain described in her memoir: "Being bullied and ridiculed at such a young age is crippling, and without such a close and loving family, I have no doubt I would’ve taken my own life. It knocks all your self-worth out of you and turns you inward from the world. I became extremely introverted." Her story, as shared in Tula: I Am a Woman, is a testament to enduring strength, reminding readers that scars tell the story of triumphs as much as hardships. In summary, Tula: I Am a Woman remains a groundbreaking work , not only as an autobiography but as a pioneering voice in transgender history. It chronicles Caroline Cossey’s remarkable life and legacy, from a small-town girl with a secret, to a glamorous model, a legal fighter, and a symbol of courage and authenticity for transgender people worldwide.
Available via goodreads.com
Photos via The Heroines of My Life
Other publications about Caroline Cossey:
+ Comments + 1 Comments
She is also one of my biggest inspirations as well, it was a big deal for me in early 80's, especially in regards as having someone to relate to.
Post a Comment