Living Smile Vidya - I am Vidya: A Transgender's Journey

2008, English, India, Living Smile Vidya,

Full title: "I am Vidya: A Transgender's Journey" by Living Smile Vidya.

Identities are more than mere labels we carry. They shape us, define the boundaries of our existence, and influence how society perceives us. Yet identities can also be prisons, confining individuals to roles they do not belong to, and masking their true selves. 

 

I Am Vidya: A Transgender’s Journey, the powerful autobiography of Living Smile Vidya, is a compelling testament to this dual nature of identity, the conflict, the courage, and the eventual claim to one’s true self. Living Smile Vidya, often affectionately called Smiley, is an Indian actress, writer, assistant director, and activist who has emerged as a pioneering voice in the fight for transgender and Dalit rights in India. Her life story, captured in I Am Vidya, reveals a journey marked by immense hardship, social rejection, physical suffering, and emotional resilience. It is a narrative of transformation, both personal and political.

In 2014, Vidya’s story unfolds within the harsh realities faced by tirunangais, a Tamil term for transgender women. From the outset, her life was shaped by intersecting systems of oppression, patriarchy, casteism, and transphobia, that sought to erase her identity and humanity. As a child, she instinctively knew she was a woman trapped in a male body. Yet, growing up in a poor Dalit family in Chennai, belonging to the Arunthatiyar caste, she was subjected to societal disdain and familial rejection. The book does not shy away from depicting the indignities forced upon her: being spurned by her family, forced to beg on the streets, donning women’s clothes despite societal hostility, and undergoing painful gender reassignment surgery. 

 

Her journey reflects the agonizing process of breaking out of the societal mold, both literally and metaphorically, to claim the identity that she always knew was hers. As she herself expressed in a 2014 interview, “Identities are not mere markers we are known by, they define as well as limit us.” Vidya’s declaration of identity in her autobiography is an assertion of selfhood that transcends social and bodily constraints. Vidya’s autobiography is not only a personal narrative but also a window into the larger socio-political struggles faced by transgender people in India. Beyond her writing, she has made significant contributions to theatre and film, becoming the first full-time transgender theater actress in India. Her performances in plays and films highlight issues of discrimination, gender identity, and social justice, drawing from her lived experience. 

 

In my 2014 interview with Living Smile Vidya on The Heroines blog, she spoke candidly about her early life, education, and activism. Smiley revealed that despite being raised with male privilege, she always identified as a woman “in my heart,” and education became a means of resistance and assertion. Her academic pursuits in applied linguistics at Tamil University were complemented by a deep involvement in theatre, which became both a creative outlet and a platform for activism. 

 

Her activism is inseparable from her identity as a Dalit transgender woman. Smiley has been vocal about the need for nuanced reservations that recognize the intersections of caste and gender, emphasizing that a one-size-fits-all approach marginalizes the most vulnerable within her community. Her stance critiques both the caste privileges of savarna transgender people and the invisibility of Dalit trans persons. 

 

Smiley’s artistic work has been instrumental in reshaping public perceptions of transgender lives in India. Her theatre troupe Panmai, co-founded in 2014, has toured internationally with productions like Colour of Trans 2.0, blending art and activism to tell stories often silenced. Her acting in films such as Leena Manimekalai’s Is it Too Much to Ask? confronts discrimination head-on, making the personal political. She also trained at the London International School of Performing Arts, broadening her theatrical skills and gaining international exposure. Her piece Scars, performed in Switzerland, poignantly explores the physical and emotional wounds that accompany a transgender journey, wounds often invisible to society but deeply felt by those who bear them. Vidya’s activism has come at a personal cost. She has faced threats and hostility due to her outspoken critique of caste and gender discrimination. Despite an asylum application in Switzerland being denied, her resolve to fight for equality and recognition remains unshaken. Her autobiography I Am Vidya was originally written in Tamil and has since been translated into multiple languages, including English, making her story accessible to a wider audience. 

 

The Kannada film Naanu Avanalla...Avalu, based on her book, has won critical acclaim, bringing her journey to the big screen and further amplifying transgender visibility in Indian cinema. Living Smile Vidya’s I Am Vidya is more than a memoir, it is a beacon of hope for those struggling with identity, a challenge to oppressive social structures, and a celebration of resilience. 

 

Her story is both deeply personal and universally relevant, speaking to anyone who has ever felt confined by the expectations of others. Your interview with Vidya captured her spirit of assertiveness and courage beautifully. She emphasized how important it is for trans women, especially those from marginalized caste backgrounds, to have their voices heard and their identities respected without dilution. Vidya’s journey reminds us that claiming one’s identity is an act of rebellion and liberation.  

 

I Am Vidya: A Transgender’s Journey stands as a seminal work in Indian transgender literature and activism. It chronicles the painful yet empowering transformation of a woman who refused to be defined by societal norms or biological determinism. Living Smile Vidya’s story is a testament to the strength it takes to live authentically against overwhelming odds, a story that continues to inspire generations of transgender people, feminists, activists, and allies worldwide. For those interested in the intersections of gender, caste, and social justice in India, and the transformative power of art and activism, I Am Vidya is essential reading. Your interview with Living Smile Vidya remains an important resource for understanding the woman behind the story, a reminder of the courage and spirit that continues to fuel her journey.

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and The Heroines of My Life

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Other publications about Living Smile Vidya: