Full title: "Dear Mom and Dad: You Don’t Know Me, But …" by Georgia Lee McGowen.
Georgia Lee McGowen’s autobiographical book Dear Mom and Dad: You Don’t Know Me, But …, published in 2012, is a remarkable exploration of the lifelong journey of a person navigating the complexities of a dual-gendered identity. Much has been written about individuals who feel they were assigned the wrong body at conception, often highlighting the struggles and tragedies that arise from this mismatch of nature.
However, very little attention has been given to the nuanced inner experience of living with two distinct sets of emotions, one male and one female, inhabiting a single soul that at times feels divided and at other times united. McGowen’s work fills that gap, chronicling the gradual, intricate process of understanding and reconciling two clearly identifiable spirits.
Dear Mom and Dad: You Don’t Know Me, But … traces the life of George through the perspective of Georgia, the female half of their soul, beginning with early childhood in the post-war Texas oil fields and continuing through the innocent school years in northeastern Oklahoma. The book captures the onset of puberty, during which the ever-present sense of not being normal casts a shadow over nearly every aspect of George’s life. The narrative unfolds as George faces the collapse of a lifelong dream, yet begins again, fostering new hopes, dreams, and the pursuit of love that has been longed for by both halves of their soul. Georgia emerges gradually, learning to embrace her identity within the duality, a process complicated by a profound tragedy that shapes her understanding of self and faith.
One of the central themes of the book is the reconciliation of gender identity with spirituality. McGowen presents a unique perspective on the role of God in the life of a transgender person, emphasizing that acceptance of one’s true self and the guidance of faith can bring profound peace. Through her journey, Georgia learns that a perfect God would not abandon a child for being different, and she discovers a path toward self-acceptance and purpose. This spiritual reflection runs throughout the memoir, offering insight into the intersection of faith, gender identity, and the pursuit of understanding God’s will.
In an interview with The Heroines of My Life, Georgia discussed her journey in depth, describing how her transition began in her mid-sixties and unfolded gradually, rather than as a sudden revelation. She emphasized that living authentically later in life presents both challenges and rewards, and her story provides valuable lessons for others navigating similar paths. Georgia’s professional life, her relationships, and her interactions with the transgender community all contribute to a rich, multi-dimensional portrayal of her experience. She speaks openly about the difficulties of coming out, particularly to her children, and the ways in which societal attitudes toward transgender people, even within the broader LGBT community, can be both supportive and alienating.
Dear Mom and Dad also addresses the representation of transgender individuals in media and culture. Georgia reflects on how news stories, films, and books have historically failed to portray the community accurately, and she advocates for a more authentic understanding of what it means to live in a body that does not match one’s inner self. Her narrative demonstrates that acceptance and understanding from society require both individual courage and collective awareness, highlighting the importance of visibility, advocacy, and living with a smile and confidence in one’s identity.
Love, an enduring theme in McGowen’s memoir, is explored with sensitivity and depth. She recounts the search for meaningful connections, the profound impact of her relationship with Marilyn, and the ongoing influence of love on her decisions and sense of self. Through these personal reflections, readers gain a profound appreciation of the emotional complexity and resilience required to navigate a dual-gendered life. McGowen’s story is also a testament to the power of family, chosen community, and faith in sustaining one’s spirit through adversity. Beyond her memoir, Georgia Lee McGowen continues to inspire through public speaking, seminars, and additional literary projects.
In her interview with Monika Kowalska for The Heroines of My Life, she described several ongoing projects, including a companion book tracing her Christian faith alongside her gender identity, a sequel titled Dear Mom and Dad, P.S., and a biography of Regina Gazelle, a pioneering trans woman who founded the first tax-exempt home for homeless and transitioning transgender people in Phoenix. McGowen’s voice extends into potential film and television adaptations of her memoir, ensuring that her story reaches even wider audiences.
Dear Mom and Dad: You Don’t Know Me, But … is ultimately a story of perseverance, self-discovery, and reconciliation. It is a chronicle of duality made whole, exploring the intersection of identity, faith, and love. Through Georgia Lee McGowen’s candid, compassionate, and often humorous storytelling, readers are offered not only a window into the life of a transgender woman navigating late transition but also universal lessons on acceptance, courage, and the pursuit of a life lived authentically. The memoir stands as an essential read for anyone seeking to understand the complex realities of gender identity, the resilience required to embrace oneself fully, and the profound possibilities for joy and fulfillment that lie in living truthfully.
Available via Amazon
Photo via The Heroines of My Life
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