In her heartfelt and powerful memoir I Am Tshiamo, Tshiamo Modisane invites readers on a deeply personal journey of self-discovery, identity, and resilience. Growing up as Kgositsile, a name meaning “king,” Tshiamo always knew she was a girl, despite the gender assigned to her at birth.
Born into a conservative Christian family in the townships of KwaThema and Daveyton near Johannesburg, Modisane faced immense pressure to conform to societal and cultural expectations for a boy.
As the child of a pastor, she was expected to embody a narrow and traditional image of masculinity. Instead, she was met with scorn, misunderstanding, and even abuse, from relatives, friends, peers, and strangers alike. But even from a young age, Tshiamo showed remarkable courage, beginning to make bold choices at just five years old.
Her story is one of both doubt and fierce self-belief, culminating in her gender-affirming surgery in her thirties. With unshakable sass, faith, and a sparkle of confidence drawn from her family’s ties to the entertainment world, she transitioned from male to female while establishing a successful career as an actress, celebrity stylist, and Lux’s first gender-non-conforming brand ambassador.
More than a tale of transition, I Am Tshiamo is a meditation on faith, defiance, pain, and hope. Modisane writes with both vulnerability and strength, dissecting the scars of her past and honoring the truth of her present.
At its heart, the memoir is a powerful call for unconditional acceptance and visibility for trans women, especially within Black and religious communities.
An especially poignant excerpt from the memoir reveals how young Tshiamo coped with her reality: by mentally escaping into an inner world where she could be her true self. “Nighttime,” she writes, “allowed me the opportunity to escape my sad reality.” She created an invisible alter ego named Tshiamo, everything she believed herself to be, but couldn’t yet express. Together, Tshiamo and Kgositsile navigated life, sharing experiences like secret companions living in parallel worlds. Her aunt Dorcas, lovingly called Amani, became a role model for Tshiamo’s grace and strength, a beacon of femininity and independence.
Modisane recalls how even simple childhood joys were forbidden under her father’s strict interpretation of Christianity. Pokémon was banned, celebrity posters deemed idol worship, and KFC chicken skin somehow punishable by a serious whipping.
Despite being a grown woman with a job, she was still expected to be in bed by 9 p.m. when visiting home, and her father continues to reject her identity to this day. These experiences underscore the intense pressures many trans people face, not only in wider society but also in their own homes.
Yet even in such an environment, Tshiamo found ways to be herself. At age four or five, she proudly played cars with the boys while wearing a headscarf and carrying a handbag. “And absolutely no one could shame me,” she writes, with a triumphant tone. She found strength in creativity, rebellion, and self-expression, pushing boundaries wherever she could.
Growing up in 1990s South Africa, a country newly emerging from apartheid and awash with optimism, came with its own complexities. For queer children, this era’s hopefulness was laced with guilt and fear, particularly around visibility and selfhood. Modisane describes how society made it clear that queer children were not to be seen or heard, let alone celebrated.
Ultimately, I Am Tshiamo is more than a memoir. It is a vibrant declaration of personhood, a battle cry for authenticity, and a reminder that self-acceptance is both a journey and a form of resistance. Tshiamo Modisane’s voice is one that deserves to be heard, not only by the trans community but by anyone who’s ever had to fight to be themselves.
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