Samantha Pearsall’s memoir, The Woman I Am: My Journey from Richard to Samantha, is a deeply moving exploration of identity, resilience, and the pursuit of authenticity. The book chronicles Samantha’s life from her birth and childhood, through her teenage years, and the first twenty-five years she spent living as Richard. From the earliest moments of gender dysphoria, Samantha recalls the discomfort she felt in her body, hiding her genitals as a child and struggling to reconcile the changes of puberty with her internal sense of self. She remembers looking in the mirror and realizing that she was not a boy, a recognition that was isolating but ultimately the first step toward understanding her true identity. Growing up deaf in Northeast England, she had no role models or literature that addressed both her deafness and her gender identity. Trans literature and resources were almost entirely aimed at hearing audiences, leaving her to navigate her feelings without guidance or validation, a situation familiar to many transgender youth.
Her transition was fraught with challenges, particularly navigating the healthcare system. Samantha details the long waiting times in the NHS, sometimes up to eighteen months, further prolonged by pandemic delays, and the dangers of unsupervised hormone use, including the risk of blood clots, heart complications, and mood swings. She explains the differences between male-to-female and female-to-male transitions, noting that male-to-female transitions often involve one surgical procedure, while female-to-male transitions can require multiple surgeries. Samantha shares her experiences with estrogen, highlighting the physical and emotional changes, the uncertainty of the process, and the profound relief of aligning her body with her gender identity.
