Paula Coffer is a retired US Army Finance Officer with many years of military service in Vietnam, Germany, Korea, and the United States. She later served with the Department of Defense and Department of State in Afghanistan.
In 2017, in my interview with Paula. I asked her about some advice for all transgender women and this is what she shared with me: "Take on an attitude of ‘Don’t Care’. Don’t care what other people say. Prior to the transition, I had to care what people thought of me. I was an Army Officer, father, and husband living a dual life.
After I transitioned and struggled through the physical and environmental changes I finally realized that it didn’t matter what others thought of me. The only thing that mattered was how I felt about myself and I adopted an attitude of ‘I don’t care’.
Don’t care that you are not where you want to be yet and you may be disappointed with your progress.
Don’t care also means that everything is not about you.
When you notice that someone is laughing or pointing in your general direction this doesn’t mean it is about you. You truly are not that important to others and the joke told or item pointed out is probably not you, just your dysphoria or paranoia.
This is a journey and the destination is only a short-term goal because you will continue to set new goals and have new aspirations as you travel down this path. Life is a Journey!"
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