Sara-Jane Cromwell’s Becoming Myself: The True Story of Thomas Who Became Sara is not simply a memoir of transition, but a story of survival, courage, and the relentless search for authenticity. Born Thomas into a family of twelve children in Ballyfermot, a working-class suburb of Dublin, her early life was marked by hardship and humiliation. She grew up in an environment where difference was not tolerated and where conformity was enforced with cruelty. At school she endured relentless bullying and was treated as though her left-handedness made her deficient, a stigma that left long-lasting scars. At home, she faced rejection and abuse from those who should have been her protectors. The combination of these experiences created a lonely and isolating childhood, in which she carried within her a secret so deeply buried that even she could not yet name it.
In her attempt to find belonging and peace, Thomas turned to religion, work, and eventually marriage, but none of these paths could quiet the gnawing sense of unease inside. Each attempt to fit into the expectations of others only deepened the despair. Eventually, after years of struggle, she reached rock bottom. The pain became so unbearable that she attempted to end her life, convinced that there was no way forward. Yet in this moment of darkness, something shifted. She chose to fight for her existence, even if she did not yet fully understand what that meant. With the support of friends and a process of painful self-reflection, she began to uncover the truth she had always sensed but never dared to confront. The diagnosis of gender identity disorder, as it was medically termed at the time, confirmed that her suffering was rooted not in personal weakness but in a physical and neurological condition. For the first time, she was able to see that the conflict between her inner self and outward identity was not a failure of character but an issue of recognition.
With that understanding, Thomas was able to step aside, making way for Sara, the woman she had always been. Her memoir details this transformation with honesty and an unflinching eye, weaving together the despair of the past with the determination of the present. It is a book filled not only with pain but also with humour and humanity. Sara-Jane Cromwell emerges not as a victim but as a survivor who dares to share her truth so that others might find hope. She does not shy away from the cruelty of her childhood or the betrayals she endured, but she also celebrates the resilience that carried her forward. Her story speaks to anyone who has ever felt out of place, misunderstood, or trapped in a life that did not reflect who they really were.
In my interview with her for The Heroines of My Life in May 2023, Sara-Jane spoke openly about how these experiences shaped her. She described how being left-handed in 1960s Ireland led to accusations that she was “retarded,” and how that label subjected her to beatings, ridicule, and rejection. She recalled preferring the company of girls and being branded strange and overly emotional, further isolating her from peers and deepening her loneliness. She explained that her family, far from being a source of comfort, were her primary abusers, and that their cruelty drove her to her first suicide attempt at sixteen. It took her years to finally sever ties with them, and even after leaving, she made repeated attempts to reconcile, only to face more duplicity and betrayal. It was only after disclosing her gender dysphoria that she realised reconciliation would never come.The Ireland of Cromwell’s youth had no medical or social framework to support people like her. Hormones, surgery, or any form of gender-affirming care were unavailable until the late 1990s, leaving her to struggle in silence for decades. Yet despite this absence of resources, she found her way. She chose the name Sara-Jane with deliberate care, imagining how it would look in books and public life, as though she always knew she had a destiny to speak out. And speak out she did. Over the years, she became a pioneer in Irish discussions about gender identity, founding organisations, advising universities, and advocating for legislation such as the Gender Recognition Act of 2015. Her efforts reshaped how Irish society understood people experiencing gender dysphoria, opening doors that had previously been sealed shut.
What is most striking in both her memoir and her later reflections is her insistence on authenticity. She resists labels like “transgender woman” and prefers to be known simply as Sara-Jane Cromwell, female. She believes language matters, but she also believes it should clarify rather than obscure. She has never allowed her gender identity to be the sole determinant of her life’s purpose. Instead, she insists on a vision of human wholeness, where gender is one part of a broader character filled with talents, values, and dreams. In our interview, she encouraged others to live fully as themselves, not to be defined only by their transition but to embrace life in all its challenges and possibilities.
Becoming Myself stands as a testament to this philosophy. It is the story of a child born into rejection and cruelty who nevertheless found the courage to embrace her true self. It is about the cost of silence and the power of truth. It is about despair, yes, but more importantly, it is about survival. By sharing her journey, Sara-Jane Cromwell offers readers not just a window into the life of one woman but also a mirror in which we can all reflect on the importance of being true to ourselves. For those grappling with their own hidden truths, her story is a hand held out in solidarity. For those unfamiliar with gender identity issues, it is a lesson in compassion and understanding. Above all, it is a story of hope, written by a woman who refused to let despair have the last word.
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Photo via Heroines of My Life
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