Alexandra tells her life with relentless openness in this book. It is the confession of a woman who lived in a male body and who thus became the outsider of a society that rejects everything that goes beyond the framework of the "normal". The harrowing fate of a transsexual who never got a real chance in life. Early on, Alexandra landed in the red light district. To endure the suitors, she took heroin. In order to have the money for the addiction, she stole – again and again until she ended up behind bars. There she was examined. The result: AIDS. A book that is deeply moving.
At the age of three, the little boy, who would have much preferred to be a girl, got his first slap in the face. When he did not comply, the father kicked him in the face. "If you behave like a girl one more time, I'll beat you green and blue!" And so he did. As soon as the boy showed girlish behavior, the father beat him. She has known since she was ten years old that she is transsexual. Since she read an article about Amanda Lear, who made headlines by saying that she was actually a man.
When Alexandra turned 15, she ran away from home... Thus began the struggle for survival. And if you've been starving for a few days and don't have a roof over your head, you'll eventually find yourself in the red-light district of a big city. Alexandra also landed there – she "worked", although her body was masculine, as a woman, even if only with something special. Only if a man noticed that something was wrong with her, he gladly paid a few marks more for the special turn-on. Alexandra had no money worries – but her soul began to rebel. And the more she thought about her future, the more depressed she became – until a newfound friend showed her the way to stop thinking: she gave her heroin. This closed the vicious circle.
In order to endure the clients, she resorted to drugs, and in order to finance the increasing drug use, she needed more and more clients a day. One day, what she earned from prostitution was no longer enough. So she stole. The first time. Once you have done it the first time, the second time is only half as difficult. At some point, you become reckless – and caught by the police. And if it turns out that the detainee is addicted to drugs, a medical examination is carried out. In Alexandra's case, the result was HIV-positive. That was in 1986...
Available via genderwunderland.de
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