Full title: Walk In Confidence: The Paula Coffer Story by Paula Coffer. It is is a re-edition of Sandbox to Sandbox, a book published in 2016.
Some life stories refuse to fit neatly into a single chapter. They span oceans, wars, heartbreak, reinvention, and the relentless pursuit of authenticity. Walk in Confidence: The Paula Coffer Story is one such life story. Paula Coffer, a retired U.S. Army Finance Officer and Navy veteran, has lived a life defined by service, resilience, and courage. From her tours in Vietnam, Germany, Korea, and Afghanistan to her years of public service with the Department of Defense and the Department of State, Paula’s professional achievements are extraordinary.
Yet beneath the uniform was a far more personal battle: the struggle to live openly as herself.
Paula enlisted in the U.S. Navy at just 17, stepping into a world that would take her to Vietnam for three tours of duty. Later, she accepted a commission as an Army Finance Officer, serving 24 years in uniform. During those decades, there was no policy like “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” to shield her. The risk of being discovered was real and could have ended her career. Paula carried this secret alongside the responsibilities of her military and family life, balancing duty with the identity she could not yet express openly.
In 1994, Paula retired and made one of the most courageous decisions of her life: to pursue gender reassignment surgery, even at the cost of family relationships. This step marked the beginning of her true freedom.
Her autobiography, Walk in Confidence (2017), is a reflection of her choice to prioritize authenticity over fear, peace of mind over conformity, and self-respect over silence. It chronicles not just the story of a soldier or veteran, but of a woman determined to live fully and honestly, despite immense personal and societal challenges.
Even after retiring, Paula continued to serve in Afghanistan, demonstrating that courage does not retire with a uniform. Her later work includes writing and travel storytelling, often featuring Ralf, her imaginary miniature Dachshund, as a whimsical companion exploring the natural wonders of the United States. These stories reveal a playful and imaginative side, reminding readers that even after battles, both personal and professional, Paula maintains a spirit of creativity and joy.
In her interview with The Heroines blog, Paula spoke openly about the difficulties of living a dual identity. She shared her experiences with gender transition at age 41, highlighting challenges like hormone therapy, clothing adaptation, and the pressure of family expectations. Despite these hurdles, she cultivated an attitude of “don’t care,” learning that the opinions of others mattered far less than self-acceptance. This perspective became the foundation for her confidence and the guiding principle behind her life and her book.
Paula also offers practical guidance for transgender individuals. She stresses the importance of employment and life skills for those transitioning, highlighting how crucial it is to maintain financial independence while navigating personal change. She is candid about the dangers of self-medication and self-surgery, sharing hard-earned lessons in the hope of helping others avoid similar pitfalls.
Her reflections extend to broader societal issues, including the complexities of transgender inclusion in schools, bathrooms, and workplaces. Paula recognizes both the progress and the ongoing risks faced by transgender individuals. She distinguishes between gender identity and physical identity, emphasizing the need for thoughtful definitions to foster meaningful dialogue. Her insights reveal a deep understanding of both individual and systemic challenges in today’s evolving cultural landscape.
Yet beyond the societal, Paula’s story is profoundly personal. She speaks of love, connection, and the longing to share life with others. Even after her transition, she reflects on the importance of companionship and the human desire for intimacy. And through it all, she demonstrates an unwavering commitment to living with integrity, courage, and confidence.
Walk in Confidence is not just Paula Coffer’s autobiography, it is a testament to living authentically, embracing challenges, and finding joy in the journey. Her life illustrates that strength comes from self-acceptance, that confidence grows from presence, and that the path to fulfillment requires courage, resilience, and honesty. Paula’s story is an invitation to walk fully in one’s own truth, to navigate life’s challenges with grace, and to make each day a meaningful step on the journey toward self-realization.
Paula Coffer’s life is proof that confidence is not given, it is forged through experience, struggle, and deliberate choice. Her journey encourages all readers to embrace their true selves, face challenges head-on, and live each day with intention, authenticity, and unwavering courage.
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