In her memoir I Hardly Knew Me: Following Love, Faith, and Skittles to a Transgender Awakening, Nia Chiaramonte offers an intimate portrait of transition that is striking for its immediacy. Rather than narrating her journey from the safe distance of hindsight, she writes from within the unfolding moments themselves, therapy sessions, late-night reflections, family conversations, and the uncertain but luminous steps toward authenticity. The result is a profoundly human book that refuses simplification, capturing the painful, messy, and beautiful process of becoming oneself.
The title itself, I Hardly Knew Me, conveys the heart of Chiaramonte’s story: years of hiding, even from herself. “I used to be so hidden that even I couldn’t see who I was,” she writes, a confession that resonates deeply with anyone who has lived in silence or fear. That silence eventually breaks, sometimes quietly, sometimes with shattering force, in moments like posting her truth online, enduring the echo of responses and silences, and sharing vulnerable conversations with her wife Katie and their children. Through it all, Nia’s voice is both tender and unflinching, guiding readers through her discovery that authenticity is not only possible but necessary for survival.
